The Nature Of Stuff & Social Anxiety Disorder

Source: Techmelife.wordpress.com

Yeah I know, I was thinking of “The Nature Of Things” when writing this. But this has everything to do with just how things are. Nature just happens. We live in it, though not in this part of it. All we see is skyscrapers in the bigger cities, or if you live in a smaller town then that’s what you see. It’s the same thing everyday. Cars driving by are always in a hurry. Birds flying south to get to the warmer parts of earth before winter hits.

Then comes along the outgoing kid in Grade 9. It’s now winter and everyone stays in because the cold is keeping them there. Every day is great for this one teenager, he has a circle of friends, he looks forward to going to school everyday and it’s all about the social part of school for the reason he goes, not the school work itself.

As it may be the same reason everyone else goes, the rest of the students in this school, there is still one weakness for this teenager, like a gust of wind could blow him over and he couldn’t get up even if he tried.

And what may be this weakness you ask?, well this guy likes to sleep in. Not because hes afraid of going to school, but because it’s so comfortable. And so he did that, for one whole school day he slept in. One day turned into two weeks. And at the end of those two weeks a phone was ringing. This was the principal. The word he gives is the message consisting of getting kicked out of high school because this guy has missed too much school work.

As I said before, a gust of wind can blow this guy over and he could not get back up. Now he sees the light. This light leads up a stairway to the computer. The computer turns on and because an addictiveness that is worse than drugs. Since there is no treatment for addictiveness to the computer this guy sat on it for enough time, being isolated alone that he developed a fear of people.

At the same time leaves start growing on the trees by the time this guy has developed this anxiety disorder, called Social Phobia or in other words, Social Anxiety Disorder. And it’s now spring, which doesn’t really lead into a newer beginning for this teenager, it’s the beginning to an end for his social life. Now the creeks spring out and the snow melts down the mountains. Overtime the snow melts enough that there is no more on the mountains.

The teenager starts to notice this, and because a part of depression. It’s out of control, he doesn’t know that thinking this way leads to no where and only prolongs the existence of depression. The more he remains afraid of leaving the house the longer he will stay there. Even if he leaves the house and faces the majority of his fears and he stays some what awkward or afraid of people that is the only way to get somewhere.

Now the temperature outside is much hotter, it’s much colder to stay inside and so it’s better off to this teenager to stay where he is. The least part is that he has a paper route that gets him out. He occasionally sees a friend of his from high school but he looks away each time. He does not talk to any of them. To him they are all now enemies. Even if he looked at them as people he could still remain in touch with they probably would just refuse, as this guy has changed for the worse.

But overtime things gradually get better. The snow starts falling again, the mountains turn white. Then once again the force of nature happens again, and the snow melts and the springs break out with water and the snow completely melts again. The leaves grow on the trees, and the depression remains for this unforgiven teenager. A path leads him the way into the work force, he then is forced to be in social situations. He takes jobs that consume alot of hours, he doesn’t recognize how much time that it’s taking out of his life and that he needs to focus on getting out of it, he is not taught this and he is not prepared. 5 years pass by and now he notices. There is still a chance. The snow has melted now and the creeks are running. Depression is noticed, for the cause and so it is not as much of an obstacle anymore.

He knows what he is going through because he discovered it through the internet 3 years ago. He is able to face his fears much better now and hes capable of coping, despite him still suffering, and going through a tremendously hard time with Social Anxiety still. A path is leading the way down a hard road, but it’s either he takes this route or he just accepts his current state and does nothing about it. Every year the forces of nature do their thing, as it is only beautiful to watch when your living a good life.

And so the will to get better is what drives this still young soul, distractions get in the way just like land slides blocking highways cause by the forces of nature. Nature is what Social Phobia is a part of, and cannot be blamed on anyone else specifically. It’s simply just the nature of stuff. So as a landslide blocks a road, incidents in this individual sufferer’s life get in the way and block his path, but he will simply have to either go around and take another route or stop until the messed is cleaned up. As long as he keeps trying there is hope for change. If he goes in the opposite direction and down south, then nothing can change, he will remain the same for the rest of his life. And so it will just be hot all year and as no progress is made for a long period of time he only gets worse in his mindset of depression, and likes to blame certain people or things for the reason he is in the place that he is currently. Anyways, that’s not where he is, he will keep going. And the forces of nature will continue to melt the snow, and the grass will get greener every year, and then the snow will fall again and the mountains will will get brighter than ever as they become filled with snow. This makes the path even brighter for this young soul, and so he continues to suffer but moves into the direction of change.

Share

2 comments - What do you think?
Posted by admin - May 18, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Categories: Facts   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

All You Can Do Is Keep Trying While Going Through Social Anxiety

Source: Tomtheroad.blogspot.com

There is one big lesson I have learned up until now, after trying and failing so much at things. The successful ones out there only were successful for a reason. They don’t write all over themselves that they “fought and tried until they succeeded and failed more than succeeded”. You either have them tell you just by chance or you ask them how they did it. All human beings you see in everyday life are going through something, and you would be suprised at how many people you see in public that actually have social anxiety and you don’t even know, you can only tell if you are extremely close to that person, or if they do not care if you know and they just tell you. There are alot of people that have social anxiety that you would never imagine, and even celebrities have it.. just a few, but at least some is better than none which just goes to show that there are famous people that go through this too. What do we think of those celebrities?, well, sufferers ourselves would be happy because they know what it’s like and suffer through it like us, and they have fame to deal with so they have to overcome it some how, so that shows that anything is possible. Donny Osmond for example is someone who seems like any normal actor in the films he has been in, and being a singer and all.

But the pros and cons of the difference between trying and giving up are huge. If you try, there is a chance you will fail multiple times, but there is a chance that you will succeed. If you fail, you have no chance at getting over SA at all, or anything else you are trying to succeed in. So the success rate of trying is above zero, where giving up is exactly zero. If you choose to ruminate about your problems and do nothing then they will persist. Your at ground zero. Maybe you don’t know what to do, or you have a guess at what you should try doing and your too lazy or you just can’t do it in your mind where realistically you could try something.

Then there is the sufferers that know that difference, and try, and are well above ground zero because they are trying. I don’t want to judge those who are not trying right now at all, I am just stating the facts. I feel so much more positive and less depressed when I am making errands and looking out in the distance while thinking about life, that I am doing something right now, and things will get better eventually. Where while I am doing that and I am currently not doing anything, I feel depressed, and very down, I don’t feel like going to work or doing whatever I’m doing.

So for me, being on medication, trying to make myself be social in many different ways, maintaining my plan, all keeps me feeling like on a road to somewhere, rather than no where at all. The opposite of that brings no future for me, it brings nothing but depression and even more rumination. Seeing someone to talk to about your life is also a big help and keeps you focused on moving forward. A good plan today is always better than a perfect plan tommorow. Two step forwards today is always ten times better than waiting until tommorow instead and not having gotten anywhere up until then.

Share

2 comments - What do you think?
Posted by admin - April 29, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Categories: Facts   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Negative Thoughts Loom Around Every Corner?, I Dont Think So :)

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01400/man_1400272c.jpg

Source: I.Telegraph.co.uk

Negative thoughts… they do loom around every corner. But for me… not as much lately. For my second message as part of this post I will note that I will be moving my blog to theunrestrained.wordpress.com so this site will no longer be existant in a few weeks. Please subscribe to that blog. I am writing this post on this blog because it is more well known, even though I said on the previous post before this that all new posts would be on that blog, I changed my mind as this blog is alot bigger and more popular for now :) .

Anyways, the negative thoughts that I have had in my life so far ever since I first got Social Anxiety in the first place have faded slightly. I started listening to “Overcoming Social Anxiety, Step By Step” which is an audio tape series on overcoming social anxiety. It’s totally a mind blogging way of overcoming some of your existing thoughts and or beliefs. There are various ways of finding the tape series online, contact me for more details. Anyways, my negative thoughts were always “looming around every corner”.

 

But I eventually learned what they were made of, I eventually learned that I can control them to a certain extent. They still happen but, not as much. Actually alot less. I always used to beat myself up over everything. But now I have stopped them in their tracks when it comes down to the anticipated, worst case scenarios. The tape series says to follow the tapes for 5 months (if you do the math when you listen to the tapes) and I could not follow it because I first of all did not know if I was following them correctly in the first place. Anyone that says “I followed the tapes” may have cheated and just said that they just “followed the tapes” and may have not done it properly. But I still listen to them. They give me hope. The man suffered through the disordered for over 20 years and that was through the years of uncertainty, the days where this so called “social anxiety disorder”. He fighted it, battled it, and had it by the throat for the longest time. Now he has it in the stronghold. The man’s name is Dr. Thomas A Richards.

 

Theres alot more to say about him but, his tape series is truely a masterpiece. I am more of a listener than a reader so books are kind of worthless to me in a way. I still read from time to time even though, previously I was someone who hated reading.

So my main point in this post is to go across to everybody going through social anxiety is that you CAN overcome your negative thoughts. Just keep realizing that the negative thoughts want to take you down, make you miserable, and make you feel guilty of everything.

If you simply start replacing your negative thoughts overtime, as slow as it may be… you WILL start feeling more non-negative, like alot more positive. That is a promise. Keep saying “who cares” for EVERYTHING. It will work, as persistance is the key. Feeling more positive about everything will change the way you think. You will start feeling less anxious and more joyful, and more capable of handling negativity from anyone and everything. Just keep going, keep replacing the negative thoughts.

I normally was an unbeliever. But now I am found, now I am a believer of persistence and it’s effectiveness. Requirements?, patience. That is the end of this post, over and out.

Share

2 comments - What do you think?
Posted by admin - April 25, 2012 at 4:34 am

Categories: Facts   Tags: , , , , ,

It’s Moving Time, To Transfer Over To A Free Domain…

Source: Themightmovers.com

That’s right. I have made the decision to move this whole blog over to http://theunrestrained.wordpress.com/. So go over there and subscribe to new posts, as all new posts will be there and not here. I am keeping this blog a few weeks just to alert all my readers of the move I am making. You can find all of my content on that site right now, though some images may not show up in the posts.. for some reason. Thank you all for being loyal readers of mine and providing me support of going through this life devastating disorder called Social Anxiety Disorder. If you are a new reader, feel free to subscribe to my blog by going to the link below the image that has the blue label over it.

Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by admin - April 19, 2012 at 1:50 am

Categories: Facts   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Would You “Move Out” For Better Motivation? (Social Anxiety)

Source: Captivatemoi.com

Beneath all of us there is potential for anything to happen, but it takes more than just “magic”, it takes our own motivational levels to push ourselves into fulfilling all of that potential. There is no way of saying “I don’t deserve this” or that “I deserve better” for anything. Whatever situation we’re in for whatever reason regardless, no matter what, if there is something we have to do that is beyond the requirements of someone else who had it easy in life… we must do whatever is required to jump over those obstacles even if you have to do something you hate doing.

But if you didn’t have that motivation despite all the potential you see in yourself, and you were living with your parents would you be able to be motivated to achieve that potential if it was either going to school or college, or anything else like that compared to if you lived on your own?. I considered at a time to moving out just for this reason and I asked a few people of what their thoughts were. And they simply said.. the obvious. “Stay at home, save your money”, “You can accomplish the same from home, stay home”. Well I thought over it and for the sake of saving more money I choose to stay. Alot of answers I got also asked me instead of giving me an answer “why would you move out for better motivation?”.

The answer to that is simply, I would feel more responsible for myself and my actions, I would be putting myself in “survival mode”. But I can simply say within the boundaries of common sense that if you CAN still achieve your goals from staying at home, do it. Think about it long and hard. Look at your current situation and if you don’t have what you want in life, and you know you can achieve it while staying with “the rents” as some like to say, then do it. But think about it so much that you no longer think about it anymore and you’ve made up your mind well enough that you’ve made a conscious decision. Because the second you finish moving yourself into a new apartment and your paying $600/month in rent, there may not be a chance of going back. And if your circumstances are that you hate living with your parents and you want to move out, then do it if you can, and take advantage of the “survival mode” advantage. I moved out for 3 months once just because I could, and I payed cheap rent and had a whole house and garage to myself. But it was basically something that gave me the mindset of “I know I will be going back to my parents place in 3 months” the second I moved in so I didn’t get the “survival mode” mindset then. But I think I can try and do the things I want to do from here, and save some money as the higher advantage as long as I can gain that motivation despite not being in “survival mode”.

 

Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by admin - March 30, 2012 at 12:49 am

Categories: Facts   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Little Progress Is Better Than None (Social Anxiety)

Source: Premiumpixels.com

There was many times in my life while going through Social Anxiety Disorder that I would just sit there and not do much at all thinking if I should do something or not as I had the free time to do it. Usually this was during the time that the thing I wanted to do was a goal that took awhile to achieve. I was pretty much either the “all or nothing” kind of guy. For so long I was like this. I realize any amount of time wasted on doing nothing because I can’t achieve my perfectionist’s expectations within my own doings, is a waste of time within itself and doing a little bit of trying to achieve whatever goal it is, is actually a hell of alot more progress than doing nothing at all because of not being able to do a crap load of stuff.

Depending on how bad you want something you can achieve it depending on that amount of motivation or greediness towards whatever it is you want. I’ve wanted many things in my life in the past and I’ve achieved the main things that I wanted bad enough and never the things I just “kind of wanted”. It’s always important to know what your capable of and not capable of, and to know how easy something indeed is when we say it is easy, or the other way around, how hard something we say is hard. Or how easy something is when it’s actually extremely hard, and the other way around. Just having that desire to have something, to stay in your head, while doing nothing at all to achieve it, while not giving up mentally at all, for any period of time, can even get you what ever it is you want too. It’s just a mental *not giving up* thing in our heads, which in my mind keeps my focused on getting the things I want in my life.

Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by admin - March 22, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Categories: Facts   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

No Matter What, Love Has A Way Of Finding You (Social Anxiety)

Source: Xegrtyjsofcbqla.blogspot.com

Hey all, I am sure most of the readers of my blog are single or if not then you probably aren’t even going to bother reading this. But anyways, we lose hope alot of the time when there is nothing in the air within our lives, because either we’ve never been in a relationship or because it’s been a super long time. What I’ve learned is that you can either keep busy trying to make a difference and attempt to create opportunities or you can sit back and let time take you over, with only some opportunities to come by, give or take.

And to create those opportunities, I make it sound really easy or hard but doable. For some it’s nearly impossible, and I’ve been there too. There is simply a very low amount of motivation within us because this life devastating disorder called Social Anxiety Disorder tears our lives apart and makes it nearly impossible to even consider getting up in the first place. If it takes the full amount of motivation to only be capable of doing one thing at a time, just do it. And the negative beliefs in your head are the only ones telling you to lose hope and give in. But no matter what anything is possible, and anyone can come along the way, so no matter what, love definitely has a way of finding you. And don’t let yourself be incapable of enjoying your daily life while being lonely, because even outgoing people struggle with getting into relationships. I let myself give in to all of life’s activities and what-not because of not having someone with me to enjoy it with. And even before that my appearance stopped me from trying to even ask the opposite sex out for a date. But that is just crazy talk, I am capable of both enjoying my life while being single, and even while not having a satisfactory appearance within myself, which is just me, who else is judging?.

That doesn’t stop me from changing my appearance but it just allows me to feel a little bit better about myself physically despite hating myself about that before. And I’ve always thought of relationships as going to a Casino, because gambling either gets you success or failure with no promise of one or the other every time.

Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by admin - March 22, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Categories: Facts   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Nothing But Positiveness Is The Key To Being Anxiety Free (Social Anxiety)

http://www.401kid.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/World_hands.jpg

Source: 401kid.com

Positiveness, humor, niceness, happiness, it sounds all cheesy and all but what could it lead to?. I’m sure if I was to try and use the flashcard trick that I could move in this direction, but basically there is some sort of way to attempt to think this way by thinking of things in a certain aspect, with only having to remind ourselves of this aspect in order to keep fighting at making it the way we think all the time. I once actually tried *forcing* myself to act a certain way when I was visiting some relatives of mine. At the time I did not know that this was a symptom of Social Anxiety where we try to be like other people (and these people may think we have multiple personalities) but we want to change so bad and be outgoing like a certain person we value that we attempt to change ourselves and in the end we just lose motivation and go back to our same old socially-anxious ways. Of course you know that social anxiety is simply a mask that we are forced to wear which covers up our outgoingness. It masks who we truely are.

Anyways, when I actually tried to be more humerous at the time, I actually did succeed in some moments. But I did get tired out. You know how you have been living like 20 years and your so used to the way you normally act, now try actually attempting to change all that, your whole personality that you formed over those many years. It wouldn’t take the same amount of time it would probably take the same amount of time it took for you to get Social Anxiety. But I think it could be possible if you were forced to act a certain way for a long time, if we were forced to be someone else.. we could eventually act like that as long as there was persistance and such. So using this same strategy in being nothing but positive is also a challenge. Of course the answer to all questions in the negative thoughts area is yes, if you could survive and not die from any certain social situation, or a place where you say something or do something you regret doing or saying to someone. In my mind, when I was outgoing before I pictured everything in a positive and/or rational light making me a very positive, rational, happy person. Negativeness would bother me temporarily, eventually I would get over it. My favourite saying to myself was “who cares”. Well I said it more to friends than to myself. It was just integrated into my brain. Imagine just one day waking up and thinking of everything in a positive or rational way?, like you wouldn’t be in fear or anything, in doubt, or even worried about anything, and just looking forward to the day ahead of you. That’s how I used to think, but every morning is the same damn thing in a negative aspect. So let us try to change this, by remembering all these facts, and attempt to change the negative beliefs by recording them and turning them around. It is indeed more-than-possible to turn around the negative in life and turn it into nothing but positiveness, happiness, and rationality.

Share

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by admin - March 19, 2012 at 2:13 am

Categories: Facts   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

When Your Negative Thoughts Remain The Same Forever (Social Anxiety)

http://placementuniversity.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/2324612788_379faaa22e.jpg

Source: Placementuniversity.com

Theres a question remaining left unanswered in my own books of my life at this current time regarding my motivation within getting rid of the negative thoughts that persist in my life. Yes is the answer towards the question of, “can I turn around my negative thoughts?” in situations when I’m thinking of them. It’s just so hard to try to *replace* them, when self discipline is a huge problem for the sufferer. That goes for me. So for so long I have known this but I haven’t totally tried it yet. It’s so hard to stop doing what your naturally used to doing and try something completely different accordingly towards changing your life, mentally.

So the way to change all of this is to find a non-embarrassing way in changing the negative beliefs. Flash cards are typically what you need and all you gotta do is find a way for you to look at the cards when no one is around in your daily life. If you do not work or go to school then this would be easier to do at home or at a friends house usually. If you do work and you have a smartphone (Android), use Anki which is a free flash card application. If you have an iPhone a good free flash cards application is Any Memo. You will just have to get used to the application and type in your negative thoughts on the computer and then copy them from the computer into the application by using the smartphone keyboard. You could just do it directly into the smartphone but this is the way I did it because it gave me more ease of looking over the negative thoughts and since I can type with my eyes closed on the regular PC keyboard I typed it in just a few seconds. So a non-tech way of doing this is simply by carrying index cards or smaller pieces of paper like a small notepad and writing down the negative thoughts and the rational/positive thoughts to replace them below the negative thought or on the other side of the piece of paper.

I have to remember this myself but, the only way you can fail is if I give up, and the only way I can succeed is to try even though I may fail. Flash cards worked for other people, so they should work for me, I hope. And so when I am at work and I have my smart phone on me I read the countered negative thought statements when I am in the lunch room by myself. It all may take time but it’s better than leaving the remain the same forever right?.

Share

1 comment - What do you think?
Posted by admin - March 19, 2012 at 1:34 am

Categories: Facts   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Enjoying To Talk Again, Mission Impossible? (Social Anxiety)

http://hairounaacrosstheseas.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/people-talking.jpg

Source: Hairounaacrosstheseas.files.wordpress.com

Alright so I have come to another conclusion and it leads to this. I am not trying to sell anything and I don’t think it’s just a magic overnight cure of any sort. The picture above looks gay but you get what I mean. I always thought that it was not possible to learn to speak freely again, I didn’t think I could get used to it. So in return, I was afraid to even try. My first job after night shift was dealing with customers here and there but mostly working in a backroom and pulling pallets out to a sales floor, thats where I saw the customers and interacted with them. Now it’s full on, either bagging groceries or always in the aisles being asked where stuff is. If it’s possible to do that, and first and foremost, being capable of answering calls and making calls in a huge store all the time, or even at home or on my cell… I think that getting used to talk is very possible.

I remember, when I was outgoing. What brought me here, what motivated me?, just that. I, right now, feel ashamed of myself if I speak too much. Why should I be embarrassed of myself?, there is no one ever around. I’m almost a loner, which isn’t my fault but when talking one on one with someone I always feared or felt that talking too much was not my style. I was too anxious to speak, I didn’t see the point in doing it, I felt my voice was too mumbly. Now I’m capable of controlling that, and I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I “practiced” a little in talking even though thats something I seriously hate even doing, because it just sounds “gay”. I’m no longer that low-self-esteemed teenager anymore, I’ve got to let it go. Sometimes you gotta do something you hate to get something you want. You probably have realized now that, the “dream” to go back to normal again and be outgoing again is not as simple as it sounds, so we might aswell do something that realistically in real life will make a difference.

What triggered me to make this thread in the first place is that one guy in the forum actually said he had gotten very used to talking in public, around anyone really. I thought about my conquering my phone fears as it is totally possible, I can do the same towards talking. But I already have. It’s all about the moment, once your *past* getting used to forcing eye contact with people and talking to them. You can start to pick up on it and say funny things, and I’ve felt that happen more and more as I’ve progressed with this, and you only have to start off small, not every person you see.

Another thing is that sometimes you cannot be afraid to fail, or else you are guaranteeing yourself failure. If you want to do this as bad as you would want air if you were pulled underwater, then you will be successful. There is alot more to being isolated. It takes pushing yourself out there like cold turkey to then realize when your out there that it’s not so bad, you won’t realize it until then, and that is the only way.

Share

2 comments - What do you think?
Posted by admin - March 9, 2012 at 3:20 am

Categories: Facts   Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Next Page »